Saturday, April 22, 2017

Gardening II: The Upside of Walmart

Just to prove I'm not some bad egg who got lucky with some foreign matter-contaminated ground beef from the EVIL CORPORATION THAT CANNOT GET ITS SHIT STRAIGHT, I'd like to point out that store #02053's (Willows, California) nursery is bangin' for Spring 2017. Here's a look at today's offering -- get those violets while they're hot! (And yes, plenty of herbs...)



Some generously proportioned daisy -- variety name begins with a "C"

Geraniums -- the real thing, just like Drew Barrymore's in E.T. THE EXTRATERRESTRIAL (1982)

Dianthus (Sweet William -- that's me!)

Some sort of golden calla lily -- probably wants more shade than we get in 7B...

See, Doug McMillon (Duke left with a $140,000,000 kiss behind the ear years ago -- my bad), you evil hillbilly, I'm not just out to fuck over Walmart. But clearly, I ain't fixin' to be no Nova Lee Nation, neither... I got you by the balls, fuguratively, my grip being my possession of certain stuff that never should have been sold at your stores yet was. (Pony up, pretty boy! You owe me more than $30 for that shitty hamburger -- can I get an "Amen," readers?)