Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down (Laughing Our Asses Off)

"So there I was, watching HOT FOR TRUANCY OFFICER II: GIVING IT UP FOR LENT -- basically, minding my own business -- when all the sudden it hit me...

"I didn't know that Rihanna's 5'8. She always looks so petite on the screen, so compact, so cute. You know: J. Lo-small (not that five and a nickel is anything to sniff at, especially when you're talking an original Fly Girl, but I digress...) 5'8"? Well, that's a rather substantial young woman. Could probably hold her own against any normal guy. Not, you know, Chris Brown though (and, dude, he's so fucked up -- twisted.) But that's okay, if I know Ms. Fenty, she'll get a rematch -- she'll lick him yet... Oh, she already has? Man, I can never keep up with what comes out of New York.

"Where was I? Oh, yeah, the reason the baby boomers were laughing so raw that one time... Yeah, I guess now you know. I figure they're doing it out of love or some such. They figure your lot deserves worse than a little setback in your war on drugs; it'll toughen you up, like. Now, I can't help you with bail, but if you're stupid enough to make your one phone call from the hoosegow to me, at least I can afford the minutes on my flip phone...

"By the way, do they still snicker all evil when they hose you down in central booking these days? No, bitch, I know Frank N. is dead. I just had to ask...

"Well, okay. But I'll bet you one thing, buster, you'll be more careful about that methamphetamine from now on, huh? Oh, don't talk to me about my inappropriate Mary Hartman references -- you're the one facing a judge next week..."

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URGENT: Still blegging for much-needed house upgrade and repair $$ (Gofundme) -- Spring's almost here (it'll dry out real soon.) We must revamp the digs. Current estimate and goal is in the 9K range -- fingers crossed that it won't turn out to be more. Donations or furtive correspondence may be snail-mailed to WILLIAM R WAY BOX 206 STONYFORD CA 95979. Yippie-kai-yay, mother-- SHUT YOUR MOUTH!