Thursday, October 13, 2016

This Shit Is Bananas

Friday, September 30, 2016

Shabu Madness II: Thrillah in Manila

I know I risk sounding like some Cebu Sally on her bomb-bearing moped, but...

Dear Philippines:  I have this hunch -- yes, just a hunch -- that instituting pogrom against people who use drugs (and let's face it:  isn't it always just against 'certain' people who use drugs?  But I digress...) is not going to turn out well for anybody.  Moreover, the least you could have done was run this policy proposal by, say, any archbishop.  Or fuck, even a nun...

(Also, could somebody please remind Duterte that Hitler was one of the most massive tweakers in history, slamming five times a day.  And in point of fact, his evil life did end due to Allies bombing his bunker -- no, smart-asses, not because his high was too good...)


Mr. President, you have no alibi!

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Bored of Games

Let's face this one right out of the gate:  MONOPOLY is a fucking evil game that brings out the worst in everybody, making all the players mean and nasty -- even yours truly.

OPERATION was a ratfuck, and immediately gave me away...

I wanted to like CANDYLAND, until it just had to teach me a lesson, and became CHUTES AND LADDERS, with more chutes than ladders, and was ultimately a contrived study in diminishing returns.

Don't get me started on BATTLESHIP, an invitation to cheating and unseaworthy shenanigans.

And lastly, I completely lost it with CLUE as soon as I realized that the only redeeming character (who also happened to be the only one not deserving of prosecution and, yes, death) was none other than -- ready for it, players? -- Chilly Willy, on the front porch, with a .3 shot of peanut butter.

Games have their place in life, but life cannot be contained by games.  Why, look at the game of LIFE: like Anya Jenkins, I had a hard time swallowing the notion that children could not be exchanged for money -- so unrealistic!

Obvious, isn't it, that too many of us have for a long time now been weary of games we once fancied...

Saturday, September 24, 2016