"If they run, they're Viet Cong; if they stand still, they're well trained Viet Cong"

Please bear with, as I figure out whether my current mental predicament is fueled mainly by my bipolar disorder, my recreational drug dabbling, or a furious sexual frustration - a n hysteria analog.

Once I've explained it, a more delightful state of being common grumbling about processing has it should ensue.