At first blush sounded sadistic yet squeamish. Textbook evil: sexual hang-ups, purity fixation, avarice, hunger for power, vanity, smugness, conceit, hypocrisy. I wasn't allowed to notice the kiss-up/kick-down mentality, but I'm sure it went on. Total domination: totally gay, dude. Anyway, I'm beginning to realize what I really heard: frustration, need, pain. What do I say? This world has been rough on me, but I reacted differently. I have a different disposition. Yes, my life has purpose, direction, and all the buttercream frosting I could ask for. It has all that because I didn't ask for it or expect it. What words really need to be said? I mourn the suffering of others, but I can't go overboard tossing a flailing fellow a life preserver, can I? What can I do other than sympathize and offer love? I'm a good person if the kind of people who aren't afraid to make eye contact are to be believed, and deserve the best life has to offer. I wish I could do better at taking it to heart. How does it follow that I inspire jealousy and resentment? And how can I alleviate the suffering of others? Or should I wish to?
Rant over.
EDITED TO ADD: No, actually, I did in fact catch the compliments and well-wishing that occasionally came through, and I treasure it.
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